


help me help you

by techniclr



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Bad coping mechanisms, Drunkenness, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, alcohol cw, dimitri is a kind soul with a big heart, sylvain needs therapy, sylvain's repressed trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:48:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27927769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/techniclr/pseuds/techniclr
Summary: in which dimitri catches sylvain stumbling back to his room in the early hours of the morning. dimitri gets frustrated and asks him why he does this, and sylvain, with a smile already platered on his face, says: "i got locked out. i mean, i lost my key. actually i had a meeting with the professor. or wait- i was training with felix. or no - i was in the dining hall." he grins. "we could do this all night, your highness."
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd & Sylvain Jose Gautier, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Sylvain Jose Gautier, Felix Hugo Fraldarius & Sylvain Jose Gautier, Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 5
Kudos: 49





	1. Chapter 1

Dimitri couldn't sleep. 

He was pacing back and forth in his bedroom, images of bloody violence flashing before his eyes. It was nothing new to him, seeing as how he had nightmares almost every night, but these felt like they were coming for his throat. He had woken up, drenched in sweat and freezing cold, reaching for a lance that wasn't there. 

He had gotten it down to a repetitive, comforting rhythm by now: three paces left, turn, three paces right, turn. His hands were clasped behind his back, and his brow was furrowed in concentration. In his memory, Byleth's face swam forward. _Breathe_ , they had said. _When it gets bad, and when you feel trapped, count and just breathe._

Dimitri let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. Besides the sound of his deep breathing and muted footsteps across the stone floor, there lay a blanket of comfortable silence around him. So when he heard a muffled crash, his head snapped towards his door. Someone was out there. 

In three strides he was at the door, opening it soundlessly to peek his head outside. At the end of the hall, he caught a flash of red hair and a slurred "My bad." Sylvain. 

Dimitri watched from his door as Sylvain righted a pot that had fallen off its pedestal, miss the pedestal entirely, and settle for depositing it on the floor. 

He straightened up, brushing invisible dirt off his pants. He noticed a mirror on the wall next to him and immediately flashed it a blinding smile, shooting finger guns at his reflection and trying to do a twirl but tripping over himself so it was more of a stumble. _What an imbecile,_ Dimitri sighed to himself. 

Dimitri crossed his arms and fully stood in his door frame with an eyebrow raised, watching Sylvain be drunk and stupid from fifteen feet away. In one of his mirror twirl stumbles, Sylvain caught sight of Dimitri's broad frame filling his doorway. 

"Heyyy, Your Highness! Or should I say, Our Highness, heh heh." He shot Dimitri a lopsided smile accompanied by a hiccup. 

"Sylvain, please," Dimitri began. Sylvain cut him off with a cheery laugh. "Nah nah nah, we're not doing this right now, big guy. The night I had? Kind of terrible! So if we could lay off the Sylvain hate train for now," he slid up to Dimitri, reeking of cheap liquor, sweat, and cologne. "That would be much appreciated." He whispered, suddenly solemn, bumping his shoulder past Dimitri as he made his way to his room. 

Dimitri turned around sharply, face stoic and heart sinking. "Sylvain. I have no desire to say anything that would cause you pain. But if me asking you to change your ways will hurt you, then I beg of you to forgive me."

Sylvain stopped in his tracks, his back to Dimitri. 

Dimitri reached out and put a hand on Sylvain's shoulder. "Please, listen to me. I can tell that you do this to hurt yourself. Why else would someone go out every night, chasing bad company and making poor decisions and see to it that they end badly? I care about you, not just because I feel like I need to as your friend, but because you mean a lot to me, Sylvain. But I would be remiss if I didn't at least ask you this first. Why do you do this to yourself?"

A painful silence enveloped them. And then- 

"You don't know shit about me, Dimitri!" Sylvain exploded in an overly cheery voice. He wrenched his body away from Dimitri like he was burned, turning around and backing up with his hands up in a disarming motion. His smile was so wide it looked like it could crack any second, and it didn't hide the lifeless cold that filled his usually warm brown eyes. 

"You. Don't. Know. Shit!" He repeated, laughing a little. He shoved his hands in his pockets. "Why do I do this? Do what, Your Highness? Oh - I assume you mean how I stayed late for advice from the professor on that last lesson. Or maybe you're talking about my late night training session with Felix? Oh! I think you could be talking about the run I did into town with Dedue, and we got lost so we got home late? Actually, I think I forgot my key and had to go to the office. Yeah, that's it," He smiled cruelly. "I lost my key, is all."

Dimitri felt his face grow hot. "Bullshit," he growled. "You went into town. You got shitfaced. On purpose."

"Hmm, let me think. Oh!" Sylvain raised his pointer finger in the air as if struck with a thought. "I forgot. I was actually in the library bothering Bernie." Sylvain grinned. "We could do this all night, Your Highness."

Dimitri sighed harshly and relented. "Fine, Sylvain. You were in the library poring over thick volumes, not chugging alcohol at that dingy dive bar in town, hitting on the women there, and getting slapped. No, I know you must have been writing your thesis for that new paper the professor assigned, not vomiting on the side of the road and leering at men who looked like they were itching for a fight. Come on," Dimitri said, exasperated. "Do I seem like a fool to you?"

"Um.. kinda, yeah."

"Sylvain!"

"Fine, fine. You're not a fool. But Dimitri." Sylvain stepped closer, eyes boring into Dimitri's own. "Don't get involved in things you don't understand."

Dimitri's mouth opened in shock, and he tried to gather his wit to make a retort. 

"I don't mean to insult you. I meant what I said, that you don't know everything about me. I wish I could just..." He ran a hand through his fire-red hair and pulled it. "Tell someone, anyone. Maybe it would make dealing with it easier. But I know no one could possibly understand. So please," He was begging, pleading with Dimitri. "Don't try to get involved. The last thing I want is my pain to hurt someone else. It's mine because it has my name on it, whether I like it or not."

Dimitri was speechless. He watched Sylvain walk back to his room, giving him a little wave as he shut the door behind him. 

That night, Dimitri laid awake staring at the ceiling, listening to the sound of heartbreaking sobs coming from the wall next to him. 


	2. sylvain gets in trouble

"Sylvain!"

Dimitri and Sylvain were sitting in the Blue Lions classroom, waiting for the Professor's lecture to start. They weren't talking, and a loaded silence stood awkwardly in the air. Annette was looking curiously between the two boys as if she had picked up on the tension, but she said nothing. 

Felix had just barged in through the doors. He stalked right up to Sylvain and positioned himself at the foot of his desk. 

He stood there, fuming, which prompted Sylvain to say in a clueless voice, "Can I... help you?"

Felix glowered. "Where were you last night. Don't lie to me, idiot. You were supposed to train with me, and I was standing there for an hour looking like a fool waiting for your stupid ass to show up."

"Well, good morning to you too, sunshine. I'm sorry I stood you up, I promise it just slipped my mind!" Felix's glare grew sharper. "About where I was... well...heh," Sylvain rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, I'm not too sure you want that answer."

Felix looked ready to stab Sylvain. He banged his fist on the table and bit off, "Tell. Me." 

Dimitri watched the exchange silently, knowing full well where Sylvain was last night. 

"Now don't be mad, Felix, I.... maybe went down to St. Baron's for a drink or two and lost track of time. It's not a big deal!" Sylvain put his hands up defensively. "Please don't be mad?" The words came out pleading. 

"You...." Felix glowered. A vein was popping in his forehead, and his jaw was clenched so tightly that Dimitri thought his teeth were powder by now. "Ditched me... to fuck women...and get wasted...?"

Sylvain just about fell over himself trying to reconcile the damage he'd just done. "No, no nothing like that! I promise, Fe-"

Felix grabbed him by the front of his shirt. "I'm gonna kill you," he growled. "Any last words, Gautier?"

Surely, Sylvain could see the hurt the flashed through Felix's angry eyes and the determination in the firm set of his jaw, the disappointment in his brows, drawn together in a sharp frown. Surely, he knew that Felix meant what he said and that he truly would be injured by one of the four daggers always on Felix's person. Surely Sylvain cared that he was being threatened and that he was going to be injured. He must have some self-preservation in him, right?

Sylvain hung there by his shirt, a careless smile on his face. "At least take me to dinner first," He smirked. 

Wrong. 

Felix seethed, yanking him closer by the grip he had on the front of his shirt. "That's it, I'm-"

"Felix!"

Both of their gazes snapped to Dimitri like they'd forgotten he was there. They blinked.

"He... was with me last night. I needed his help." Dimitri avoided his gaze, fidgeting with his buttons. 

A moment passed, and then Felix snarled, "Stay out of this, Boar. You've always been a terrible liar."

"I am not lying! We were-"

"You were? You were what?" Felix snapped. "Thinking of ways to piss me off? Because if that was your goal, you've certainly succeeded. Fuck you Boar," he concluded, and he turned to storm out but forgot he had a crushing grip on the front of Sylvain's shirt. He bared his teeth at Sylvain's shocked face. "And fuck you too. Double fuck you." He pushed Sylvain away, and Sylvain stumbled, trying to regain his footing. 

The door to the classroom shut with a resounding slam. 

Sylvain stared at Dimitri. "Dude, what the fuck? Why'd you try to cover for me?" He seemed actually upset now. Dimitri was taken aback. Was Sylvain upset... with him?

"Sylvain, I was only trying to help-"

"Naw man, you just... you know what? Forget it. Just forget it." He shook his head and put his hands in his pockets, walking out through the door Felix had just stormed out of. 

Dimitri stared at his retreating back. What had just happened?

* * *

Dimitri was in the library trying to get a thesis down for the essay the Professor had just assigned. He was decent at essays, but this particular one had him stumped. He was on his eighth mark out and rewrite of his introduction, and at this point, he felt like giving up would be a more productive evening for him. Nevertheless, he stayed sitting behind his stack of textbooks and scraps of crumpled parchment scattered around him, waiting for the words to come to him. 

The door to the library opened with a squeak, and Dimitri peered through his dense, studious environment to see who it was that had walked in on him in misery. 

A shock of red hair bobbed around in front of his textbook pile, and the prince automatically ducked behind the suddenly very conveniently placed books. Ah, yes. The last person he wanted to see. 

But unfortunately, his luck had soured. Sylvain was speaking to him. "Hey, have you seen the book on magic theories and practice? It's supposed to be here - ah, maybe you have it there? Let me take a look-" Sylvain cut himself off, having approached Dimitri's table. 

Dimitri straightened up from his slouch across the table quickly. "I think it's this, ah, book here. Here you are." He avoided Sylvain's burning gaze and wordlessly handed him the book. 

Sylvain didn't take it. The expression of mild shock on his face melted into something more composed and completely neutral. Not breaking his façade, he said in a controlled voice, "You know he completely hates me now. Because of what you said. He probably hates both of us."

"Pardon?" 

"Felix. He won't talk to me." Sylvain finally broke their tense eye contact and looked away, something like pain and regret on his face.

Dimitri squirmed awkwardly in his seat. "Have you considered... maybe this is the consequence of your own actions?"

Sylvain scoffed. "No shit, man. I know I fucked up. But the last thing I wanted was to rope us both into this. Now he hates both of us."

Dimitri furrowed his brow. "Sylvain, I'm sure you're aware, but Felix isn't particularly fond of me as it is."

Sylvain rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but I can tell. He's genuinely upset and I don't know how to fix this." He ran his hand through his hair, distressed. 

Dimitri was silent for a moment. Sylvain was obviously in pain because of Felix's reaction, but... he was also upset because of the impact their small conflict had on Dimitri and Felix's relationship. How odd. 

"When you say you want to fix this, you mean between you and Felix? Or Felix and both of us?"

"Obviously both of us, man. What kind of bros are we if we don't even talk to each other?" Sylvain sighed. 

Okay, Dimitri could work with that. 

"How about this," Dimitri said slowly, mind whirring with ideas. "We'll come up with a plan of action. All we need is a strategy, right?"

Sylvain gave him a skeptical look. 

"Just hear me out. Meet me tomorrow evening in the dining hall. We'll talk it out over dinner." Dimitri suddenly looked at Sylvain with wide eyes, open vulnerability on his face. "You-you'll come, right?"

At that, Sylvain chuckled. "Of course, Your Highness. If I didn't know better, I'd think you were asking me out on a date." He finished his sentence with a gaudy wink. 

Dimitri was taken aback. Sylvain had just been so honest, open, and vulnerable; Dimitri hadn't expected him to don his usual grating persona again so quickly. 

Vaguely waving his hand in the air, Dimitri said distractedly, "Consider it a date then. Just please, be there by half-past seven and be prepared for a long discussion."

Sylvain's eyes widened a fraction, and his mouth opened in surprise. A light pink blush dusted his cheeks, and he ducked his head, saying in an unusually quiet voice, "Tomorrow it is. Won't be late." He ducked out of the library before Dimitri could respond. 


	3. why didn't you tell me when to stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sylvain and dimitri conspire, sylvain does something big stupid, sylvain gets hurt on purpose, sylvain pisses felix off. again.

Sylvain slid into the seat next to Dimitri, whispering, "What's the plan?" 

Dimitri gave him a look. "Why are you whispering?"

Sylvain straightened up immediately. "Oh, uh, I thought you had wanted to keep this discreet. If you spend time alone with me, you know, people will talk." He said matter of factly, stabbing his chicken with a fork. 

Dimitri gave him a skeptical look. "Sylvain, you know I don't care what people say about us. If they have an issue they can come straight to me and we will discuss it openly. Now, for our plan." Dimitri looked around, and then leaned in and whispered to Sylvain. "Actually, it is more fun like this."

Sylvain chuckled quietly. "Always a delight, Your Highness."

Dimitri straightened up and cleared his throat. "Well, alright. It would appear that Felix hates both of us. Correct?"

Sylvain grumbled, stirring a straw in his water. "Correct," he grunted. 

"So I believe the best way to fix this is to just sit down and be honest with Felix about it. What if we just told him how we felt, and why we felt that way?"

Sylvain gave him a look. "Hell no, Dimitri. Not a chance in hell. How about," He pulled a napkin and started to scribble on it. "We tell him something horrible happened to me, and only you know, and so that's why we were together that night? It just might work. You know, play the emotional guilt card." Sylvain smirked. 

Dimitri stared at him. "So not only do you want to lie to one of your childhood best friends about why you stood him up, but you want to emotionally manipulate him into forgiving you?"

Sylvain sighed. "Well don't say it like that! I just want to be good with him again. I hate when he's angry with me," Sylvain said, then muttered under his breath, "I can't stand it."

Dimitri watched Sylvain's sorrowful expression, and it made his heart sink in his chest. He slammed a fist on the table, accidentally causing everyone nearby to jump. 

"Sorry," Dimitri announced gruffly. "Okay," Dimitri whispered. "I think I have an idea. But this has to remain between us. Understood?"

Sylvain grinned. "Understood," he said, twining his pinky with Dimitri's.

* * *

Felix was walking to the training grounds when someone blocked his path with their huge gigantic body and orange haired idiocracy. 

"What," he said, irritated, looking straight ahead at the wide, strong chest in front of him. 

"Would you like to come with me to-"

"Forget it," Felix said, dodging him and continuing on his way to train. 

"Fe- Felix, wait up!" Sylvain jogged to keep up with him. "I was just asking - hah - if you wanted to spar with me."

"You know I'm still mad at you."

"Yes, I'm well aware. Would you like to train with me?"

Felix stopped suddenly in his tracks, causing Sylvain to bump into him. 

Felix fixed him with a glare. "You're out of shape."

"Well, I wouldn't say-"

"And I'm not gonna go easy on you."

A wide smile spread across Sylvain's face. "I'll take those odds any day."

They walked to the training grounds, Sylvain chattering on about nothing, Felix silently fuming. 

Sylvain went to pick up a lance and Felix snapped, "What do you think you're doing?"

Sylvain looked at him as if he was slow. "I'm... picking up my weapon? What-"

"You wanted to spar with me," Felix smirked, "so use a sword."

Sylvain's eyes widened, but he didn't complain. He silently put back his training lance and grabbed a sword. 

"I'm still pissed at you, you know," Felix began as they took their beginning stances. 

Sylvain gulped. 

It was like the silence before a storm. Felix stilled, his eyes narrow, and then suddenly he was upon Sylvain, all wide arcs slashing and breaking through Sylvain's weak defense easily, thwapping on the side of the ribs and causing him to bend over, not giving him any time to recover before kicking his knees out from under him. 

"Fuck!" Sylvain cried, but it came out muffled -- his face was in the dirt. Felix actually let out a laugh at that, which secretly caused Sylvain's chest to swell. 

"Had enough, bimbo?" Felix smirked. 

Sylvain staggered to his feet. "No, no, I'm good. Let's keep going." 

Felix narrowed his eyes, because he knew just how hard he had hit Sylvain, and he should be down for good. 

They took their starting stances again, and again Felix did not hold back. He got inside Sylvain's guard easily, landed two solid hits on him and again Sylvain staggered backwards, slowly taking a knee and catching his breath. 

"Wow, I really suck at this huh?" He laughed, but it sounded hollow. His breathing was ragged, and he was clutching his chest. 

Felix raised an eyebrow. "Look, you've had enough, let's just talk ab-"

"No!" Sylvain exclaimed. "Ah... no. I... want to keep going." It took him even longer to get to his feet this time, and when he raised his sword it was shaking slightly. 

"Sylvain, I won't-"

"Felix!" Sylvain cut in sharply, demeanor gone. "It's fine. Let's just go again."

They took their stances, and this time when Felix made his move on Sylvain, Sylvain didn't react at all. He didn't defend himself at all. So when Felix's blade hit him on the back of the head, he dropped like a rock. 

"Sylvain!" 

Felix dropped to his knees, sword clattering on the ground next to him. "Fuck, you're such an idiot, I told you we should stop. Syl, can you hear me? Shit!" Felix gently put his head in his lap, clenching one fist in worry. 

Felix knew he couldn't move him on his own, but he couldn't leave him here either. He wanted to cry. 

Trembling, he combed Sylvain's hair away from his face, only to find that there was a trail of blood coming from his hairline down his forehead. "No," whispered Felix to himself. 

He hadn't meant to hit him that hard, but he also hadn't realized that Sylvain was essentially dead on his feet already. Sylvain's breathing was ragged, but he seemed to be out cold. Gently, Felix took his chin in his hands and turned his jaw to see the damage and cringed. There was a gash from his hairline down to his cheekbone, but thankfully it wasn't bleeding profusely. 

Just as he was steeling himself to get up and leave to get help, he heard someone come in. The sound of heavy footfalls echoed throughout the room, the only other sound Felix's worried breathing. The person rounded the corner, and Felix let out a sigh of relief. 

"Felix? I wanted to talk to y- Oh my goodness, what happened?" Dimitri rushed over, finally getting close enough to notice that Sylvain's head was resting in Felix's lap. 

Felix wiped the blood trickling from Sylvain's temple with his cuff. "It was... a training accident. I should have known when to stop." To his own ears, Felix's voice sounded weak and small. He hated feeling like this, but he hated seeing Sylvain hurt much more.

Dimitri crouched next to him, glancing at Sylvain and then fixing his eyes on Felix silently. When he didn't say anything, Felix snapped, "What? Are you going to help me move him or not?"

"You're shaking." Dimitri tentatively rested his hand on Felix's shoulder gently. Felix almost snarled, shaking him off violently. "I'm fine, boar. Are you dull, or can you not see Sylvain hurt in front of you? Help me get him to the infirmary!"

Without another word, Dimitri removed his hand and scooped Sylvain up bridal style in one smooth motion. Felix watched his retreating back and raised a hand up in front of his face, shocked to see that it was indeed shaking. "Dammit," he muttered under his breath. 

* * *

The sky burned orange in the late afternoon sun as Felix stood in a massive field of wheat, surrounded by rolling hills and golden stalks that covered the landscape like a moving blanket. The sun hung low in the sky, a fiery ball of red that painted the clouds in bloody colors. In the distance, he saw a man with red hair smiling and waving at him. He squinted. It couldn't be... 

"Sylvain?" Felix began walking towards him. The man kept smiling and waving, rooted in place. 

Felix broke into a jog. "Sylvain!"

Smiling and waving. Never blinking, never calling out. 

Felix slowed to a stop, worry clear on his face. As he approached Sylvain, or what appeared to be Sylvain, that was when he saw it. 

Blood was dripping down his chin, covering his teeth, smile bright red and unfaltering. His teeth were covered in blood, and it was pouring out of his mouth. 

Felix gasped, hand flying to his mouth as he backed away. As he began to take a step back, he felt a heavy hand land on his shoulder, scaring him into whipping around. Dimitri stood there, face somber and tired, looking older than he had ever seen him. His hair was long and limp, hanging in his face, and he was covered in dark furs matted with blood. But the only thing Felix noticed was the gash that was once Dimitri's left eye, pouring blood from a deep wound that ran from his hairline down to his cheekbone. 

Felix felt himself choke, b ut he couldn't wrench himself away. Dimitri remained there, stoic as ever, with that serious, somber expression on his face as blood poured from the wound in his eye. "Why, Felix?" Dimitri spoke in a deep, slow voice. "Why did you abandon us?"

Felix woke with a start, jerking up from where his face had been planted in the covers of Sylvain's cot. A warm hand did indeed lie on his shoulder, but it belonged to someone else. Felix followed the line of the strong arm that laid on him to a set of broad shoulders, and then to a head with very red hair and warm brown eyes filled with concern. "Felix?" Sylvain whispered hoarsely. 

"What - what," Felix muttered, scrubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He hoped he hadn't been drooling.

"Uh, I think I should be asking you that. Why were you asleep on my bed?"

Felix glared at him. "I was waiting to see if you needed any help and... that you were alright," The memory of how Sylvain had gotten here flashed behind his eyes, and Felix immediately looked away, trying to look anywhere but at those brown eyes. Toying with the edge of Sylvain's blanket, he said, "I... I'm." Felix cleared his throat. "I'm sorry I hit you so hard. I... didn't mean to hurt you."

"Felix, it's okay, it was a sparring session and that's what happens when y-"

"No, Sylvain." Felix sighed. "It's not okay. It's not okay because you should have told me to stop. For the Goddess' sake, you could have told me how you felt, you know that? Instead you knowingly made me beat the shit out of you. And I know I was pissed at you and that this should make me feel better but honestly," Felix let out a long breath. "It made me feel much worse. You know I hate seeing you hurt. It's annoying."

"I... I'm sorry I made you feel that way, really. I didn't mean to upset you."

"Again with the apologizing. Just-" Felix slammed his fist down onto the bed, causing it to wobble a little. "Could you... please. Look at me." Felix's eyes were pleading, and Sylvain felt something twist in his gut. "I can't fucking stand seeing you like this. If you don't tell me, honestly, what is hurting you so much, I won't talk to you for an entire week." Felix heard Sylvain gasp out loud, but he steeled his resolve. "I mean it," said Felix firmly. 

"You don't mean that," Sylvain tried to smile, but he felt it wobble. He tried to take a breath, but suddenly all the air in the room was gone. He gasped, "Felix. Felix, you don't mean that. Please tell me you're joking." When Felix stayed silent, Sylvain's hands balled into fists where they rested in his lap and he squeezed his eyes shut. "Felix, please. I need you to say something." Sylvain swallowed loudly and cleared his throat, trying to dispel the emotion that had built up in it.

Felix crossed his arms, trying to hide his shaking hands. "No. I mean it. You have to stop doing this, and I will see an end to this mess if it kills me." Felix set his mouth in a firm line and watched Sylvain's eyes grow wide with fear. 

Suddenly, Sylvain reached over and grabbed Felix's hands. "Felix, please," His breath was coming in short, pained gasps for air as he scrabbled for Felix's hands. His grip on them was bruisingly tight. "What the fuck," Felix hissed. He tried to yank his hands from Sylvain's grip, but Sylvain was stronger than him. 

"Don't leave me, I can't lose you too." A sob wrenched free from his chest. Felix's head snapped up, shocked. "You'll forgive me, right? Right? Please, Felix. Please!" Sylvain's voice was getting louder and his grip was tightening. Felix whipped his head towards the door, to see if Sylvain's commotion had invited any unwanted guests. 

"Okay, okay, calm down. Sylvain, it's okay." Sylvain was shivering, struggling for air as silent tears streamed down his face. 

"Sorry... I'm so sorry...please don't hurt me," He whimpered. Sylvain was looking right into Felix's eyes, but Felix could tell he couldn't see Felix at all. He was a hundred miles away, lost on a mountainside in the middle of winter. 

"Fuck," Felix whispered. "Hey, listen." He gently grabbed Sylvain's chin, which caused him to flinch. Felix felt his heart break. "Hey. Look at me. What's my name?" Sylvain was silent, tears collecting in his thick lashes where they glittered like sequins. For a few moments, the only sound was Sylvain breathing harshly out of his mouth. Eventually, he breathed out, "Felix. You're Felix." 

Inside, Felix felt rattled. He had never seen Sylvain so weak and out of control before. "Correct. Now, where are we?" Sylvain answered faster this time. "Infirmary," He said quietly. "Good," Felix said curtly. Felix watched as Sylvain caught his breath and the light came back to his eyes. "Aw, shit," muttered Sylvain, scrubbing at his eyes. "I'm sorry." 

"Don't apologize," Felix snapped before he could remove the bite from his voice, and then said more softly, "Get some rest. I'll see you tomorrow." He rose swiftly, his hands falling from where they were loosely held in Sylvain's. Immediately, he missed their warmth. He forced himself to walk back to his room, not turning back to see the pained doubt on Sylvain's face. 

* * *

Felix woke up to a pounding headache. Grudgingly, he forced himself out of bed to start the day and hopefully get some training in before the Professor's lecture this afternoon. He walked to the dining hall, blearily going through the motions of getting breakfast all while being half awake. 

Felix dropped his lunch tray on the table unceremoniously next to a red mess of hair he assumed to be Sylvain. "Morning," he said gruffly. Sylvain was engaged in conversation with someone, and it was only then that Felix noticed that their regular table had more visitors than usual. Usually, the Blue Lions table late risers that usually joined him and Sylvain at breakfast were Ashe, Annette, and Mercedes, because of course Mercedes would wait for Annette to wake up to eat breakfast herself. But today the energy at their table was completely different: Hilda, Caspar, Dorothea, and Raphael all sat at their table, and the usual Lions nowhere in sight. Shrugging, Felix dug into his food. 

"Hey! If it isn't Mr. Anger Issues! Here to nag me about training again?" The blinding smile that Sylvain wore was all teeth, and there was no tray of food in front of him. Hilda giggled, and Caspar barked out a laugh and clapped Felix on the back. "Listen man, you take things too seriously. If you weren't so uptight, maybe we could train together sometime!" 

Sylvain threw a hand behind his head as if he was the most relaxed person in the world. "Anyways, I was thinking we should throw a rager this weekend. Raph, my man, you down?" 

Raphael grinned. "You know it, man! Anywhere you are is where the party's at, anyways!"

Dorothea lit up. "Ooh, this would be an excellent way to get Ferdie onto the dating scene! He's always complaining that he doesn't do well with girls, but after tonight?" Dorothea smiled smugly. "He'll be a new man. He won't be able to keep the girls off of him."

Caspar pumped his fist in the air. "Hey, all right! And maybe I can finally get Linhardt to arm wrestle me! Time to finally see who's strongest." He slammed a fist into his palm, grinning. 

"Hey, you guys wanna hear about what a crybaby Felix used to be? He used to come crying to me all the time, asking me to beat up his dad. Such a cute widdle baby you were, Felix!" Sylvain's eyes glittered with a cruel light Felix was beginning to recognize. 

A spoon hung in the air, halfway to his mouth which hung open in shock. Felix watched as Hilda giggled again and placed a manicured hand on Sylvain's shoulder. "Oh, Sylvain, you're such a riot!" she crooned, turning her big, pink eyes on Sylvain expectantly, making Felix cringe. Oh, so  _ that's _ what was going on. 

Felix glared at Sylvain. "What the fuck, idiot?" 

Sylvain beamed artificially again, making Felix's blood boil. "Just having a laugh. You would know if you'd just loosen up a little. Oh! That reminds me." Sylvain leaned in, all teeth and hollow eyes that held an unreadable emptiness. "I mean, I've banged some real class acts, but... how does it feel being the biggest bitch in all of Garreg Mach?"

The screech of Felix's chair scraping back was loud enough for the entire dining hall to hear over the dull roar of chatter and cutlery clinking. People stopped their conversations to watch Felix standing with both hands on the table, red in the face and angrier than Sylvain had ever seen him. The look in his eyes was murderous, but he didn't say anything for a long moment. He just glared venomously at Sylvain, shoulders rising and falling with the effort to contain himself. A vein was popping in his forehead, and his jaw was clenched so tight Sylvain was sure that his teeth were powder by now. Everyone watched as Felix ducked his head, long bangs falling over his face hiding it in inky shadow. "You know Sylvain," Felix said finally in a low, hollow voice. "I really pity you." Sylvain's hundred watt smile wavered, but he said nothing, too shocked to reply. Felix deliberately avoided his gaze as he all but stomped out of the dining hall, meal forgotten.

Felix stormed out, not caring where his feet took him. He couldn't stop seeing that horrible expression Sylvain wore in his head. He had been begging Felix not to leave him mere hours ago, and now he was spewing shit like this? Felix couldn't believe it.

* * *

The door to the greenhouse banged open. Felix stood there, a murderous look on his face. Dedue and Dimitri looked up in surprise from where they were over by the flowers. Dedue had a watering can in his hand and a shovel in the other, and he was wearing an apron with embroidered flowers on it. In the back of his mind, Felix thought,  _ huh. Mercedes _ . He marched up to Dimitri, still fuming, and jabbed him in the chest with his pointer finger. Dimitri looked at him with wide eyes, surprise written clear across his features. Felix hissed, “There is man in the dining hall who  _ looks  _ like Sylvain and  _ talks  _ like Sylvain,” Felix paused, looking down dejectedly. “But... I have no idea who he is.”

Dimitri’s expression quickly turned grim. “I see Sylvain is letting his pain get the best of him again.” Dimitri’s mouth curled into a thin line and he shoved the planter he was holding for Dedue at Felix’s chest. “I will fix this.”

“Halt, Your Highness,” Dedue said. “Is confronting Sylvain about his behavior the best way for him to change his ways? Often you yourself tell me all you need is time when you feel... a certain way.”

Dimitri turned to Dedue with desperation in his eyes. “At least let me go see him. I want to know how bad it’s gotten.”

“Oh, it’s bad,” Felix’s anger had shifted to alerting calmness. “He won’t spare you just because you’re the Prince. He’s totally out of control.”

“Then it is my duty to check on him. Please, excuse me.” Dimitri swept out of the room without another word, worry for his dear friend clouding his mind. 

**Author's Note:**

> find me on twitter @dimivainlovebot


End file.
